To kick-start your asking abilities, start by asking yourself what type of ASKER you might be or want to be. There are 5 types. Are you “A Delicate Dodger,” “A Remorseful Requester,” “An Assuming Asker” or “A Domineering Demander”? If none sound like you, then perhaps you are “The Polished Proposer.”
You are pleasant, a deep thinker, and you are very strategic. You soften the conversation with your low tone of voice. You are confident, and you take the time to make sure everyone is comfortable. You avoid confrontation and smooth over conflict quickly.
Let’s refine your approach. People will think more highly of you if you “just get to it” in your current, pleasant style. If you don’t, they will think your ASK is not important to you and will not understand why it should be important to them? The LAST impression you want to leave is that you are not “wasting your prospect’s time,” so be respectful and make your ASK.
Asking is a challenge for you, but you really want and need to do it. You think of your own situation and reflect that giving “away” money is really hard. Your approach is one of empathy for the person being asked. People may not be able to give now, so you are patient and firmly believe they will give eventually.
The very first tip is to try as hard as you can to believe the person will say, “Yes.” Positive thoughts attract positive reactions. You have ABSOLUTELY nothing to lose if you believe in what you are asking for and feel you deserve a YES!
You are smiling and happy, and the person being asked knows you and loves you. The person you are asking considers you family. The person you are asking has all the information about your ASK, and you can spend minimal time actually ASKING because of your strong relationship.
You are smooth and people love you, but if you do not state in specific terms exactly what you want, you will walk away empty, confused, and worse, repeat this pattern and be discouraged. So let’s set you up for 100% success. People are attracted to you so make your ASK, and be clear about what you want and how much of it you need to fulfill your specific purpose, and watch the magic begin for REAL!
The conversation is a bit one-sided. You have a lot of information to share and it is important that you share all the details. The person being asked seems engaged by what you have to say. You feel comfortable if you do a majority of the talking, so that the person being asked will have more than enough information to make a decision.
Kudos to you and your self-confidence, but LISTENING wins the day! You are ¾’s of the way there because of your self-confidence, but ask an open-ended question, so that you are also listening. Try asking “Have I explained enough for you to make a decision?” and practice being silent, no interruptions. This will make your ASK a balanced ASK!
You have a good balance between speaking and listening. You are extremely well versed in all aspects of your ASK including what the person being asked may say. You have a script that is well rehearsed, and you are comfortable conducting your Ask with others. You radiate trustworthiness.
Be sure that as confident as you are, you are also flexible and can stray from the script if the person you are asking needs more information or more time to decide. Make sure you do not come off as too stiff or too scripted, because you want to be warm and genuine in your ASK.
Lastly, think about your prospect and determine if he or she needs a less formal approach. Would the mere gesture of taking off your jacket or wearing less jewelry make the person you are asking more comfortable?
To see if there is room for improvement, visit the dropdown menu. Place a check mark next to the “10 Top Characteristics of a Good ASKER.”
THE ASK© … today’s all-new self-help motivational series for those who have dreams, goals and a strong desire to have the best and most fulfilling personal and professional life possible.